Warning:  May not be suitable for the faint of heart.

Spiders scare the living heck out of me–I admit the phobia.  However, my primo spider-man is no longer here, so I have been trying to overcome my arachnophobia.  We are about to test my progress, as spider season is upon us.  Where I normally would see lovely white ceilings, and clear baseboards, I now see black spots that have lots of legs and move quite fast.  Where they come from, I cannot say.  One second it is all white and the next there are moving spots.  My tool for spider removal is my fly swatter.  With it, I can reach the ceiling and helpfully carry the spider outside, where it will probably die but does have some chance of survival.  I do this not because of some spiritual prohibition again taking life, but  instead because of the squish factor–when a spider gets squished, it leaks, and the spot must then be repainted.  Of course, floor spiders especially do not appreciate being scooped up and generally end up squished, which means the carpet must be cleaned if my front line defense system (arachni-cats) fails.

Now you do know I have a couple of cats.  A few years ago I purchased a chase toy–a spider with legs and all–and they do love to play with it.  So I had high hopes for their help in all of this.   My older cat is a tried and true spider killer.  She will chase it down and use a claw to murder the poor thing, so I occasionally find dead spiders around the house.  Not wonderful but the claw does not seem to generate leaks so no squish, just dead thing.  My other cat is a spider pointer.  She will find one and point to it with her nose for a while, then walk away.  Sigh.  The problem at this point is that my older cat is, well, older and not so energetic about spider killing.  She prefers to nap.  In any case, she only deals with floor spiders, not ceiling spiders.  Luckily for me, the ceiling ones are smaller.

When there is a floor spider sighting now, younger cat  points.  Older spider killer turns over and resumes snoring.  I run for the fly swatter.  Life goes on, for some of us.  Sometimes, I need the paint or the stain remover.  Don’t ask about the sound effects, please.


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