Today is December 23, the designated day of Festivus. So I wish you all a happy one, whatever it really is. Also, a belated ” peace be with you on Solstice and forever”. But this is about Festivus. First, I thank my sort-of-step-son for having brought this event to my attention; then I thank Wikipedia for explaining the thing.
So, I learned that there are basically three things one does to celebrate the Day: 1) put up your aluminum pole; 2) Air your Grievances; and 3) perform Feats of Strength. I will herein tell you what we are doing in our home to celebrate.
First. I don’t seem to have an aluminum pole. But I think the great thing about Festivus is the ability to make it up as you go along. I did find an old broom. So, I stuck the broom in a bucket filled with cat litter to keep the broom upright. Given that, I did not put it in the living room, but it is in the house, somewhere. I am hoping that no one here decides to fertilize the broom, but given the fill, you just take your chances. Anyway.
Second. Oh boy, grievances! I am waking Bob up for this one! Remember, he was always supposed to be the blame-taker in our household, so my first grievance is that since he began walking that long fairway, it has fallen to me to take the blame. Neither of the cats would even consider it, of course–what was I thinking. So, moving right along, each cat has apparently been working up a long, long list of grievances. I happened to overhear a cat conversation, and I know this is going to be bad. My own list is relatively short and mostly involves the butler problem (door opening and closing ad infinitum) and the cat-as-alarm-clock thing. Also, of course, my grievance against Microsoft–every time they update the operating system, my computer goes crazy. However.
Third. Feats of strength! Wow. Toots intends to attempt waking up while under the covers and rolling over! This will be amazing, if she can do it. Lady has an even more difficult feat in mind. She will try the simultaneous combination ear and tail twitch. With her eyes open! I will need to be sharp with the camera to catch these feats. No naps for me today–that is actually yet another grievance, in case we run out. Finally, my own feat of strength: I will do a pushup. I hope. Failing would be a bit embarrassing. Wish me luck, please.
Does this not sound like a really great celebration? After we have completed all of the above, we will settle on the couch, a purring cat on each side of me, and I will raise a wassail cup to peace and goodwill and surviving yet again the longest night.
Festivus is for the rest of us. We can make it up as we go along. Wikipedia tells me that the founder of Festivus (a person connected with the Seinfeld show, in which the first widely known Festivus took place) related a story of his own father. That gentlemen would always bring out a clock on their Festivus day and pound it into the wall. He would never explain why or what it meant. I really liked that story. I do love a mystery.
So. Happy Festivus. Enjoy whatever makes your season bright.