Gravitated

Every once in a while, I open my eyes while I am standing in front of a mirror.  I do this just to see what has changed, in hopes for some improvement.  So this morning I decided to give it a go, feeling somewhat optimistic about things in general after a pretty bad week.  Well.  Things are a little more loose than they were last time I ventured a look.  Droopy is another way to describe the progression.  I blame this on my early and ill-considered decision to pledge a sorority when I went off to college.

I can tell you do not see the connection between loosey-goosey me today and that choice so very long ago.  Well, I can explain.  Back then (and this is WAY back then) sororities required their members to wear girdles (anyone actually remember what those are? I’ve heard they are making a comeback, sadly).  This was a requirement for a bunch of girls in their late teens or very early twenties who had graduated from high schools that had forced us to take Physical Education, which meant that we were all fairly hard-bodied no matter our shape.  So, why on earth require the wearing of a girdle–a horrible gadget otherwise known as a “hinder-binder” that encased the hips and rear of the young lady in tight rubber that held us all together and simulated that very hard body.  A gadget that was seriously not necessary.  Anyway, it is my belief that this early encasement caused the loss of my ability to bind my hind all by myself, which in turn has resulted in the droopy body I occasionally see today.

Scientists among you might respond that gravity always wins.  Hah!  Not all of me has gravitated, let me tell you.  My nose is still in position, although I admit that my ears have gotten a bit longer (it’s the earrings!).  Whatever, I think it might be a longer while until I next open my eyes (droopy lids) while standing (slightly bent and a little shorter) in front of a mirror. I really don’t like gravity much.

 

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