Why I Never Had a Boyfriend.

So the other day, I walked into my local and was greeted with a song.  An extremely awful song.  A song I had hoped never to have to hear again, ever.  I almost turned around and walked out, but I needed my morning cuppa, so I asked never to have to hear them singing that song again.  They stopped, I sipped, life went on.  Except.

The hateful song took me WAY back, to my almost forgotten early teen years.  I so very badly wanted to have a boyfriend.  All the other girls had boyfriends, I was certain.  Every girl except me had a boyfriend.  Life was simply not fair.  I thought about the situation almost constantly and finally came to a conclusion about why I did not have that boyfriend.  It had to be because there was no beautiful song about a girl with my name.  All the other girl’s names were in lovely songs, romantic songs, songs that would make any boy want to be those girls’ boyfriends.  But no song with my name.  I longed for such a song, dreamed about how fine life would be when my song had been written and was on the radio for all the boys to hear.

Well.  Some wishes should just never come true.  A song was written about a girl with my name.  It was awful.  Horrible.  The most terrible song ever sung.  I cringed when I heard it and wanted to change my name.

How could any boy dream about me after hearing “my” song?  It went:  Oh Sandy, woe woe woe woe, Saaaaaandy.  Come on.  All the boys ran away from me, and I could not blame them. I could not lift my head up.

So now you know why I never had a boyfriend.  I told the folks at my local if I ever heard them sing that song again, I would never ever return.  So far so good.  No woe.


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